Much to Dumb for School and Much too Lazy for a Job.

Date: 6/7/24

Mood: Mid

Music: The Competition - Kimya Dawson

Whatever: Comfy bed....

Life sucks, but I'm really good at rebuilding sometimes, even when I don't want too. Typically when I go through hard times I try to like "change my life" but not in the Dye your hair and become emo way lol.

More in the, what is wrong (or what is effecting my life the most) and how can I change it. A few months ago when I went through a really big change it was realzing now at 25 I wanna finally go to collage. Now here I am again, albiet even more sad (if thats possible).

Right now I have been focusing on my ADHD and other things that effect my life. I got Diagnosed with ADHD and ADD around twenty years ago now. When I was a teenager they put me on meds for it, but quickly learned that my body really reeeeeally hates meds. So I have been a "unmedicated ADHD person" for basically my entire life. Learning to curb my ADHD symptoms and related issues has been something I had to do.

One thing Iv'e neglected up to this point, is very simple: Habits. Alot of ADHD (from how I understand it, I am no doctor) can be seen like this: Your brain NEEDS and WANTS Dopamine, your brain does not get enough/ cant make as much as a non ADHD person, so your brain is going to just jump from dopamine to dopamine, and just tells you that anything that does not give you dopamine is not worth your time.

This is one (of many) reasons a ADHD person may just play video games all day, or crochet or anything like that instead of washing their hair, making their bed, going outside.

Solving this issue, for me atleast, was alot more simple then I made it to be. Alot of my friends with ADHD snub their nose at it but a REWARD SYSTEM WORKS. I have people always tell me "I cant do a rewards, ill just do/buy/obtain the reward instead of doing the thing" But hear me out. If you get yourself a treat everytime you like go to the dentist you are already showing yourself that with some self discipline you can reward youself!

I made some Habit Sheets from a Canva template a few months ago, printed them out and have been using them, so far I got into the Habits of no longer biting my nails, washing my face everyday and cleaning *anything* once a day. And my "rewards" were things as simple as buing a Cd player ive wanted for awhile to eating Pizza Hut.

But yeah :D, I think things are...gonna get better....and maybe someday...it can be just like how I want it to be someday!

Shit Fuck.

Date: 4/11/24

Mood: Happeh

Music: Your Body, My Temple- Will Wood

Whatever: I want Pizza lol

Okie! Welcome to my new Dairy Blog thingggggg. I didnt Save any Of my Previous Posts, Cause Like, no....LMAO.

It was a LONG weekend but it was so much FUN??!?! I drove roundtrip To Michigan With my Two friends, and one of their children. Me and My friends Kid both Love Tally Hall, so we Decided it be Best for the Eclipse Weekend to Also Visit Marvin's.

The Kid is 13 but is Cute af, Seeing them so Excited literally Made me SO happy liek OMG. Makes me want To have a Kid....But nah Not For a Long While Yet.

Anywaaaaay. We went To Marvin's and Saw that AMAZING Solar Eclipse! I got Some Cool Pictures at Marvin's. I also got A Keychain and Sum other Thiings to Remember the Trip By. I think Two of My 3 Best Friends would Love it.....Gatta Take em To Michigan Against thier Will LOL

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